Monday, February 6, 2012

Doubt comes to visit.

You've probably read this before:


I like it. Liked it the first time I read it, probably even had a little, "That's right!" action going on after reading it. Doubt, schmout. She can't keep up with me! Ha, ha! Doubt -- I kick Doubt's butt! 


Yeah, a little of that.

But, if I'm honest with you, sometimes Doubt can keep up. And, man, it ticks me off when that happens.

Like on Friday. I had 16 miles on the schedule for Saturday morning. I was excited. And nervous. I'd been really sick earlier in the week. I'd missed two runs. I didn't want my long run -- the cornerstone of my marathon training plan -- to go anything other than very well.

So, I was nervous. Worried. In other words, Doubt had sidled-up beside me on Friday evening. And she was working her Black Magic.

I started questioning why I was even trying to run 16 miles. And that led to questioning why I was even training for a marathon. Who are you? How are you going to run 26 point freaking two miles? And what makes you think that even if you can run those 26.2 miles, that you can run them as fast as you've decided you want to? What gives Happy Runner? What. Gives.

15.12 miles. 2300+ ascent. 10:16 pace. Awesome run. That's what gives.

As I drove to meet friends for the run Saturday morning, Doubt was still right beside me. I doubted that I had slept well enough. I doubted that I had eaten enough, doubted that I drank enough. Doubted that I had it in me. Period.

You've got this. You've come too far to give up now. You've got this. 

I had it. The hills were steep and they were long. But I had it. I had the run. I was running with friends and in the span of two minutes I had re-convinced myself that I could do it, and I kicked Doubt to the curb.

It was a fun, fun, fun run. At mile 13 or so, my friend Tami told me how much we had run so far and I was shocked. The miles had flown by.

Sure, the run wasn't a full 16 miles but that's where we were when we got back to our cars so that's where it ended. What's a mile in the grand scheme of marathon training anyway?

The more important thing was shaking off Doubt. I don't like running with her. Heck, I don't like hanging out with her. At all. I'm sure she'll try to worm her way back again between now and May 6th and I'd like to think that I'll be able to shake her a little quicker next time but that may or may not happen. We'll just have to see. Take it as it comes. Keep some strong mantras in my pocket, to pull out any time I see wicked Doubt coming my way.

And expect that I can -- and will -- run strong enough that Doubt won't be able keep up. Once and for all.

Ever run with Doubt? Tell me I'm not the only one . . .


~ Felice

15 comments:

Bridget said...

HA! You know I have run with Miss Doubt before. and she is so mean! But now we are kicking DOUBT's ass.

ShannonB said...

15.12 miles is incredible! You definitely kicked Doubt's butt! I am the epitome of a beginner, only 4 weeks in to a C25K program. I've been running with Doubt every other day for 4 weeks. This post couldn't have come at a better time for me, just as my program is really kicking up a notch. Thank you for sharing that we all run with Doubt, whether we've been running for a month or for many years!

macnic said...

Doubt ofter gets lots of swearing from me when HE joins on a run. I basically tell him to Eff off.

Bill Fine said...

OMG....I was dealing with the VERY SAME ISSUE yesterday morning.....had 15 on my schedule and after 3 miles, I was ready to go home and post to my blog "who are you kidding?"....but I kept moving and before I knew it, I had finished 13.2 miles and felt great. There have been times when the run has been bigger than the man, but I can count those on one hand with fingers left over, but that DOUBT is a beast! Good on ya for getting past it!

See you out there on the road!

Michael said...

For me, it seems to happen on nearly every run longer that 8 or 9 miles. I've run further than that nearly a couple dozen times so far, but it intimidates me every time.

I'm not really very good at actually "confronting" Doubt...I tend to just shut off my rationale mind and start doing it. My personal mantra is "Don't think...Just Do".

It is fun though when you realize that what was seemingly impossible a couple of hours ago, is now a reality (done or being done).

Kenley said...

Doubt can turn into something very concrete if you let it. I try to not even let her come along before the run. If I know that I haven't trained well enough for what ever run I am doing, I just anticipate a crap run. No Doubt, just kill her before she starts talking. Great Post.

Erin S said...

Doubt has been a constant companion of mine for 3 years or so. I hate when she whispers "who do you think YOU are trying to run a marathon?" I've been getting much better at ignoring her, and my performances are starting reflect that.

Nicole said...

Doubt is a nasty chick that likes to show up at the most inopportune times! Really she's kind of a wench!! But yeah, I've run with her and it sucks! But getting rid of her rules! Great run!

Tami mommy of nine said...

Thanks for this as I am fighting with doubts about my ability to run a spring full. I need to get on that and just stop doubting!

Marlene said...

Way to put doubt right back in here place!

Quix said...

Nice job ditching doubt! I think doubt probably played a part in me dropping to the half (well, that, and REALLY SORE legs after runs). Doubt and I will be breaking up before I do this half IM later in the year though!!!

trifitmom said...

doubt is always there, either not fast enough, not long enough, pains, wanting to stop, i could go on and on. i try so hard to have a mantra and just say it over and over .....

Amy @ Juice Boxes + Crayolas said...

LOVE this post!! Way to go! I am bookmarking it to read before my next long run when Doubt is getting me down!

Christina said...

What a wonderful post!
I kinda run with Doubt a lot myself, but when I outrun her, I feel awesome-like I can undertake the world. :)

Catey said...

I have never heard/seen that before, love it!
You totally killed that run! Way to go!!

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