25!

Well, after a good long post-marathon break, I'm slowly getting my mileage back up to where I'd like it to be. Not because I'm training for anything. Just because I feel better when I'm running a certain amount each week.

Last week, I hit it. I ran 25 miles. Oh, how wonderful it was.

Sure, I started the week running in shorts and ended running in winter tights (and gloves, ear-warming headband, heavy running jacket . . . ) but, hey. Weather is weather and you can't control it. All I can control is how I respond to it.

And I responded by enjoying it all. Every mile of the 25!

I'm back. Running and loving it.

Hallelujah!

This week I'm hoping for more of the same! Cold weather forecast be damned ;-)

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week!

The truth.

I have been trying to write up a race report for the Mohawk-Hudson River Marathon that I ran three (!!!) weeks ago.

I just haven't been able to do it. I've started. I've stopped. I've gone on and on about this and that and I haven't been able to publish anything.

Why? Because it hasn't been real. It has been "my race report with a positive spin on it" and that just hasn't been cutting it this time.

You see, I'm disappointed. I was disappointed and, quite honestly, I still am.

I wanted to run under 3:55 and qualify for Boston. I wanted it so bad. I believed I could do it. And for about 21 miles I was on my way. I was doing it. And then I wasn't.

Sure, my calf cramped and that sucked. But you know what sucked even more? The fact that after I stopped and stretched and massaged my calf, I gave up.

I saw the pace group getting farther and farther away from me and instead of bucking up and trying to slowly gain back my time, I let it all go. I didn't have any push in me. For the last five miles of the race I walked a lot. I gave up on 3:55 and when I realized I'd have to really get it together to even break 4 hours, I gave up on that, too.

I just gave up.

And that is the huge disappointment.  I totally let myself down. And I feel like I let down every person who supported me and wished me well as I trained and trained for this marathon. It is a crummy feeling to have and one I need to work out if I want to go after something big again.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not all doom and gloom about my running.

I ran a freaking marathon, after all! And, my finish time of 4:05:04 was still really good. I know that. I simply wish I didn't have the breakdown. I wish I had enough mental toughness to achieve my goal.

It was still a good day. And I am grateful to my friends and family for coming out and cheering me on. Even though I didn't do what I set out to do, I finished. And there is something to be said for that!

With three of my faves -- Janis, Bridget, me, Elisa.

With my family!

So, that's the story of my marathon as I see it right now. I'll be back, I'm sure. I'm running a little -- took 10 days off and now I'm getting out for 3-5 miles here and there. I'd like to just run and take it easy for a month or so and see where I end up. That's just where I am right now.

Funny, writing about how I really feel about this marathon has already made me feel a little better!

Thanks for stopping by and reading my wah-wah race non-report!