Friday, June 14, 2013

The weirdness of not running.

Today is Day 41 of No Running. That's one day shy of 6 weeks without a run. Just hanging out, resting and obsessing about my bum hip.

One would think, if one were to think about such things, that a hip would heal after resting for 41 days. One might further think that said hip would feel wonderfully ready to run and that the body attached to that hip would be raring to go. For a run, that is.

One would be wrong.

You see, there is a weirdness to this whole not running thing. Rest, when entered into voluntarily (as an important part of a training program) and/or with the promise of something good at the end (like a baby after not running while pregnant), is manageable and almost always rejuvenating. It doesn't mess with your head the way injury rest does mostly, I imagine, because it is controlled. When you decide to do something -- in this case, rest -- you control it, it doesn't control you.

True. Very true.

Injury rest is a total control freak.

Injury rest doesn't let the runner decide when to get back to running. That decision lies solely with the injured body part. If the injured body part isn't healed in a week, a month, two months . . . well, honey, you can forget about running.

And that lack of control is more or less the crux of the weirdness of not running.

I can't stand it. I can't stand thinking about my hip and whether or not it is healing on schedule. I can't stand feeling like I am missing out. I can't stand worrying that I might not be able to run the marathon in October because, after all, I am still not able to run.

I'm pretty good about shaking those thoughts out of my head and accepting that right now I can't run but I will be back, stronger than ever.

What ifs, however, have been known to creep in to my otherwise tough mind. What if I still have pain next week? What if this swelling that refuses to go away is something bad? What if the doctor was rushed when he saw me, misread the MRI and was wrong in his diagnosis -- and I'm doomed to never run again?

I reason with myself: Then you'll rest for another week. Then you'll find a new treatment and deal with the swelling and it will go away. Then you'll hunt down that crazy triathlete doctor of yours and kick him in the shin.

Yeah, see, more weirdness.

Not running is weird and I can't wait to stop being such a weirdo. With any luck I'll be a little less weird in one week. One week to test run day -- I'm counting down the days!!

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll be resting (as usual).


Amy @ Juice Boxes + Crayolas said...

I've totally been there with those injury-crazed "what ifs"...that's the worst feeling! Hang in there and heal up!

Darlene said...

Been there more times than I'd like (and am there again) so I hear ya!! And I hate it! The "what ifs" are worse than the pain.

Karen Orozco said...

I just wanted to tell you to hang in there! (and I'm sure you have heard this a million times and want to bash my head in) I have been there and know the frustration. I wish there was something I could say, but you don't need words, just time to pass quickly so this will be a distant memory!

Unknown said...

Oh, I feel your pain! I suffered with a hip injury all last fall, and even now I go crazy with worry every time I feel a twinge. Honestly, it feels weird when I realize that it has been weeks since I've even felt a twinge. My point: It will get better and one day all of this will be a distant memory. Not that that helps right now :)

Nicole Orriƫns said...

I totally get that it's hard! I feel for you. I don't even wanna think about not being able to go out for my runs. I think I would become quite insufferable…

So good luck with your hip!

Mom's Home Run

Luz said...

Im in this situation at the moment... haven't had a good, decent strong run since March... am I dying? yes.

It hurts more now that racing season is in full swing and im missing out on all these races I signed up for. It hurts even more knowing I broke a massive PR right before my injury. SUCKS.

we'll get through this. somehow. :)

Unknown said...

Oh - I'm sorry that you are having to take a long break from running. I don't know what all is going on with your hip but I hope that when you do your test run soon it is pain free!!!

Mel said...

I understand completely. I took 3 months off and it was torture. I am still trying to get back to where I want to be

Organic Runner Mom said...

Right there with you! I have been resting for six weeks too with peroneal tendonitis in my foot.supposedly I can start back up this week but we'll see. My body is longing to run but I am afraid. I am so sorry to hear about your hip and am sending magical healing vibes. Can you at least swim??? Wishing you a speedy recovery Felice!!!

Unknown said...

It's hard not to run when you have an injury but you need to rest till you heal completely. Starting running again to early may do permanent damage then you may never run again.

Pete B said...

Great post. I can totally relate!

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