Post-running injury disorder.

As I've been making my way back from my hamstring injury in November, I've realized something about myself: I am, on the one hand, full of joy because I am running. On the other hand . . . I am full of fear . . . because I am running.

This is real.

I've been contemplating signing up for a 5K now that I'm able to run 5 miles comfortably. But, I haven't pulled the trigger. I just keep contemplating it.

And I keep talking myself out of signing up.

Why? Because I'm afraid of re-injury, sure. But why else? Because I'm -- and this is so vain I don't even like to admit it -- well, I'm afraid my race time will be too slow.

Now, before you jump all over me and say that slow is relative and my slow is someone else's fast and all that  . . . let me stop you and say, I know all that. I do. And I get it.

However, it does not change the feeling that I have about my times. I don't really care what my times are in relation to anyone else's times. I care what they are in relation to me. And now I'm feeling like my speed is gone. Like I'm at that point where I'm not getting any faster and, in fact, will see only slower times ahead. Like I'm the Pokey Runner. 

This is totally a case of post-running injury disorder.

See, I spent 9 weeks not running At. All. And when I got back to it I was running only a half mile at a time. I can totally understand why I was feeling unsure about my running back then. Even when I'd gotten up to a full mile, I was still feeling pain.

Now, though, I'm not. I'm good to go. Good to run. Good to race.

So, why not go for it, already?!?

It's the fear. I know. And I know I've got to get over it.

Today, I actually made a little progress. I ran 4+ miles and then tacked on 5 hill repeats (for about another mile). This was the first time I've run anything close to speedwork since before the marathon. It was a big step, for sure.

We'll see if it helps shake the fear. 

I need that powerful weapon back!

I'll be working on it. 

Have a great weekend, everyone!

March recap.

And justlikethat my mileage tripled!

In February, I ran that half marathon over the course of the month. In March, I logged a full 36.4 miles. Look at me go! Almost 10 miles a week. A far cry from where I was last fall -- and also a far cry from the big fat zero miles I ran in December and the half mile I ran in January!

So, there's that. And I'm not mad about it.

In fact, I'm thrilled. Because, really, my running is picking up right as the weather is brightening up. And what could be better than that?

I'm ready for April! Ready for more miles! Ready for springtime running!

Almost . . . almost . . . ready to get a race on my schedule. Almost.

Baby steps. Or baby runs, as the case may be!

Have a great weekend, everyone!!

Getting real.

Last weekend, running got real.

It has been a long, long time since I've felt like I was really running. A long time. Ever since I started my gradual build-up from nothing to something in February, I've been on the treadmill. This winter has been too cold, too snowy for me to try anything outside during this early stage of recovery.

Saturday, though, was a sunny day. A dry day. A no-snow-on-the-roads day.

So I ran. Outside. In the sun.

Folks, I have missed it. And I didn't truly realize how much I have missed getting outside for a run until I actually did. Yes, I knew I missed running. I mean, c'mon. Of course I did. But, I'd convinced myself that it was OK to be on the DL. That it wasn't that horrible to not run.

And, in many ways, it wasn't that horrible to not run. But it wasn't great. And even when I started running again and I was logging half miles and then miles on the treadmill, I still wasn't getting the full experience.

Once I did, it all came rushing back to me.

Oh, running. I've missed you. I've missed you so very much.

Sure, it was only 3 miles but they were 3 miles IN THE SUN! With brisk air -- downhills, uphills, twists, turns. It was wonderful!

This week the weather looks like it will cooperate again and I should be able to get out for more outside runs.

Life is good.

Have a great week!

February Half Marathon.

That's right. I ran a half-marathon in February!

Not all at once, mind you. But, over the course of 28 days I ran 13.1 miles.

13.1 miles. In 28 days! Look at me go . . .

Now, 13.1 miles may not be a lot. I know that. It is a lot, however, when compared to the half mile I ran in January and the zero miles I ran in December. Compared to those monthly totals, February was a monster.

And March? Well, I have a good feeling about the month. It is full of promise -- the beginning of spring, the return to substantial mileage. Heck, I might even run a marathon this month!

Just not all at once.

I have a long way to go before that happens again :-)

Have a great week, everyone!