You've probably read this before:
I like it. Liked it the first time I read it, probably even had a little, "That's right!" action going on after reading it.
Doubt, schmout. She can't keep up with me! Ha, ha! Doubt -- I kick Doubt's butt!
Yeah, a little of that.
But, if I'm honest with you,
sometimes Doubt can keep up. And, man, it ticks me off when that happens.
Like on Friday. I had 16 miles on the schedule for Saturday morning. I was excited. And nervous. I'd been
really sick earlier in the week. I'd missed two runs. I didn't want my long run -- the cornerstone of my marathon training plan -- to go anything other than very well.
So, I was nervous. Worried. In other words,
Doubt had sidled-up beside me on Friday evening. And she was working her Black Magic.
I started questioning why I was even trying to run 16 miles. And that led to questioning why I was even training for a marathon.
Who are you? How are you going to run 26 point freaking two miles? And what makes you think that even if you can run those 26.2 miles, that you can run them as fast as you've decided you want to? What gives Happy Runner? What. Gives.
15.12 miles. 2300+ ascent. 10:16 pace. Awesome run.
That's what gives.
As I drove to meet friends for the run Saturday morning, Doubt was still right beside me. I doubted that I had slept well enough. I doubted that I had eaten enough, doubted that I drank enough. Doubted that I had it in me. Period.
You've got this. You've come too far to give up now. You've got this.
I had it. The hills were steep and they were long. But I
had it. I
had the run. I was running with friends and in the span of two minutes I had re-convinced myself that I could do it, and I kicked Doubt to the curb.
It was a
fun, fun, fun run. At mile 13 or so, my friend Tami told me how much we had run so far and I was shocked. The miles had flown by.
Sure, the run wasn't a full 16 miles but that's where we were when we got back to our cars so that's where it ended. What's a mile in the grand scheme of marathon training anyway?
The more important thing was shaking off
Doubt. I don't like running with her. Heck, I don't like hanging out with her. At all. I'm sure she'll try to worm her way back again between now and May 6th and I'd like to think that I'll be able to shake her a little quicker next time but that may or may not happen. We'll just have to see. Take it as it comes. Keep some strong mantras in my pocket, to pull out any time I see wicked Doubt coming my way.
And expect that I can -- and will -- run strong enough that
Doubt won't be able keep up. Once and for all.
Ever run with Doubt? Tell me I'm not the only one . . .
~ Felice
